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Male and female: than the stereotypes are harmful

Imagine that they told you that the left side of your body is worse than the right one, and therefore you should be shy about your left hand and legs, and the left eye is better not to open at all. The same does the upbringing that imposes stereotypes about what male and female is. Here’s what the psychoanalyst Dmitry Olshansky thinks about this.

Once a trucker came to me for a consultation, who “works in the north”. A healthy, huge, bearded man barely fit on the sofa and complained by the bass: “Friends tell me that I am too feminine”. Without hiding surprise, I asked him what this is expressed. “Well? The men should have a black jacket, you also have a black coat. And I bought myself a red down jacket. Now everyone is teasing me with a woman “.

An example is funny, but most people are formed by gender identity precisely on the principle of “from the nasty”.

To be a man means not to do what is considered female

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. Being a woman means to deny all your male character traits.

What looks absurd for anyone who is at least in general terms with psychoanalysis. But the modern system of education is so built that the children receive gender identity through the denial: “The boy is not a girl”, and “a girl is not a boy”. Children are taught to create their own image through the denial of the opposite, that is, a negative, and not in a positive way.

Firstly, The question immediately arises: “not a girl” and “not a boy” – it is like? And then there are a lot of stereotypes: the boy should not love bright colors, show emotions, should not love to be in the kitchen … although we understand that this is not related to masculinity. To contrast dolls and cars is as strange as contrasting “orange” and “thirty -six”.

Forcing to suppress in yourself part of your being is the same as prohibiting the male body to develop an estrogen hormone

Each person has both female and male features. And hormones are produced the same, just for someone more estrogen, someone has testosterone. The difference between a man and a woman is exclusively quantitative, and not of qualitative, even from the point of view of physiology, not to mention the mental apparatus, which both sexes have the same, as Freud proved.

Therefore, all speculations on the topic of male and female psychology look ridiculous. If in the 19th century it was permissible to say that men are born by nature not like women, today all these reasoning are anti-scientific and force a person to suppress part of his being in themselves is the same as prohibiting the male organism to develop an estrogen hormone. How long will he last without him? Meanwhile, education just makes us press, be shy and hide identification with the opposite sex.

If a man likes something feminine, the same red color, for example, they immediately look at him as a pervert and create a lot of complexes to him. If a woman buy a black down jacket, not a single trucker will marry her.

It sounds delusional? And this is the nonsense that children are brought up.

Secondly, All gender stereotypes are arbitrary in nature. Who said that not to experience emotions is a sign of a “real man”? Or love to kill “laid down in the nature of any man”? Or who can justify, from the point of view of physiology or evolution, why a man should distinguish between fewer colors than a woman?

A hunter man needs faster reactions, subtle intuition and acute feelings than a woman, the guardian of the hearth, who is not particularly needed at all, since her life world is limited to two square meters of a gloomy cave and an ever-scolding flock of cubs.

In such conditions, for the preservation of the female psyche, the hearing should be atrophied so that the screams of dozens of children are not brought to a nervous breakdown, smell and taste – lowered so as not to be able to pick up on food, because the other still will not, and the vision and touch of the woman in the caveIn general, nothing, since all objects in its living space are well acquainted and always at hand.

But the hunter should distinguish between thousands of smells and shades of flowers, have sharp vision and hearing, so that hundreds of meters in dense thickets to see the hidden prey or predator. So from the point of view of evolution, it is men who should be more sensitive, sophisticated and subtly sensitive than women. What is proven by history: it is men who are the best perfumers, cooks, stylists.